May 22, 2011

it is my second doze reduction

Things are getting alittle more intense now and it is starting to effect my life every day. I am on 60mg now and its just geting hard.

The question of “if I should be doing this is?” is starting to focus often in my mind, also questions about what if a pill was what was making things work like my marriage and it hasn’t mess up work but what about work.

I do not know who are my supports, I mean after I got very angry with my brother and Jeff about different things neither one of them are talking to me.. I can say it feels like with the anger it comes out real strong ,not tactful  when I say I am sorry even that is in an angry tone.

so I am here writing about my experience getting off of Geodon with this haunting question; What if it is what has given my life peace around my family and others? What if I get off this med. and I nor nobody else likes what I am underneath the Geodon. Wow  

I wonder if it is to early to wonder about these questions and things do get intense but they don’t stay that way.   This is just a very uncomfortable place to be and not having support really troubles me. Keep on telling myself that this to shall pass ,do my best to keep still  Just hope I will be forgiven soon in my family this silence is very painful.

If I had good support it would look like not giving up on me and trusting with me that the rough edge would pass soon and know I am not comfortable in my own skin  Someone who would just talk to me ask questions   this will be ok 

this is the blog for the moment

I can do this  I can

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